NAMU AMIDA BUTSU

and here we travel back, back, back, to:
March 22, 1989. Buffalo, New York @:
The Buffalo Sabers Vs. The St. Louis Blues NHL Ice Hockey Game.

St. Louis Blues winger Steve Tuttle and Buffalo defenseman Uwe Krupp violently collide in the goal mouth, sending Tuttle’s leg jutting upward under Saber’s goaltender Clint Malarchuk’s face mask. Slicing open Malarchuk’s Jugular Vein.



[Soundtrack: Wu Tang Clan: Protect Ya Neck!]

Right Now. Deep Breath. You’re Clint Malarchuk. You know that your Jugular Vein has been severed, You know that only gives you about 3 minutes to live. Are You Okay?

Clint must now specifically Operate within the Extreme Paradox.
And for now: You are Clint:
You know that you might Die in approximately 180 Seconds. But in order to survive even that long you must not freak out, because if you freak out then your heart pumps harder, you lose more blood and die quicker. You must stay more calm than even your normal day to day casual orientation to even have half a shot at getting the proper treatment in your RAPIDLY diminishing life span. [2 minutes 50 seconds till Soul Evacuation] Are You Okay?

Trainer Jim Pizzutelli arrives on the scene. You’re kneeing in a HUGE puddle of your blood. Repenting as fast as you can because death is HERE. (not later, NOW!) You ask:"Am I going to live?''
If Jim says No. Are You Still Okay?

Blood is spurting onto the ice from your lacerated neck. (Remember: Blood bounces on ice!) [Seconds tick-tock-tick-tock. Boinga-Boinga-Boinga the Blood Hip-Hops.]
Two spectators suffer heart attacks just Watching You. But You, Whom this is happening to, must stay calm or Death comes even FASTER. At least two of your teammates have vomited.
They are not even you, but they can’t take it; you are you and you MUST take it.

14 seconds later Pizzutelli has closed off the artery by applying pressure with his hand wrapped in a sterile pack. Luckily this happened on the side of the rink where the ambulance is parked, (otherwise saving you would essentially be a lost cause) you’re whisked away in the nick of time, the doctors patch you up nice and proper and you’re back in game form 2 weeks later! Good job! I guess you are OKAY!

Now please would the real Clint Malarchuk Cap this tale off:

"There's a purpose to everything that happens in our lives. That's why it's important to always have the attitude that you can get through a problem, because it's presented to you for a reason. You just have to find out what the reason is by conquering the problem. If you go through adversity and win, you become a stronger, wiser person for it. After everything that I've been through, my attitude basically now is that there isn't a situation I can't handle."

Wilmington, April Fool's Day 2004